Your Voice is All I Need
by Caffiene-K
Summary: Prompt: When Castle is away, sometimes Beckett just needs to hear his voice. So she seeks solace in her collection of Richard Castle audio books.


_A/N: Okkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! Kenzie is back, after what? A month of not updating? I am posting this as a warning because I am going to be updating all of my stories, over the next 2 days. So don't be surprised if you get sick of seeing Caffeine-Kenzie stories consecutively. Also, I have been writing a ton of oneshots, but I'm hoping my updates will start being more frequent. _

* * *

Kate's laugh floated into the air, as her fiancé picked her up, kissing her as they spun.

"Rick." She breathed, eyes fluttering as she leaned her forehead against his. Her arms were locked around his neck, not giving an inch. "You're going to miss your flight."

Rick leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Kate's mouth, as her hand brushed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too. I don't want you to go." Kate admitted sheepishly.

"I can call Paula, reschedule the tour or something." He said quickly, jumping at the opportunity.

"No, I'm sure I'll survive." She replied, shaking her head. "Plus I don't want you to disappoint your fans."

The intercom above interrupted, announcing a final boarding call, for Castle's flight.

"You're a fan, I don't want to disappoint _you._ " Rick pointed out.

Kate pulled him down, capturing his lips in hers. "Go, have a good flight."

They held their embrace for a moment, before pulling away.

"It's only a week." Rick nodded.

"Call me when you land?"

"Of course." He replied, slinging his laptop bag over his shoulder. "I love you!" He called over his shoulder, not caring who heard.

"Love you too."

* * *

Kate sighed, stretching her limbs out with a yawn.

She was at the precinct, finishing up a stack of paperwork. The day had been slow and boring, one contribution to her grouchy mood. The others being no coffee since the morning and no Castle.

That was exactly what Kate needed, Cas- coffee. If she couldn't have both, at least she could have her coffee, she decided, getting up to go to the break room.

It seemed as if everything reminded her of her fiancé. The stupid coffee machine, that he had brought, a magnet on the fridge, and even a poster of healthy fruits; apples, his safe word.

It was a first. Sure, Kate had missed Castle when they hadn't been together and went on book tours, or when he missed a 'paperwork' day, but ever since they had been together, they had almost been joined at the hip. Almost, because they quiet hadn't moved in officially. Kate still had her apartment, not wanting to disrupt Alexis' and Martha's privacy, and Castle had his writing days, where sometimes Gina's wrath was just too much.

For the first time Kate _needed_ him. Not really a first, she had needed him, _depended_ on him a few times; but she would never admit that. She was Kate Beckett, self-advocate of independence. But unlike those life or death situations, Rick wasn't here; he was somewhere in Hawaii, promoting his books in the 50th state.

Kate's face screwed up as she drank her coffee, spitting it out, and tipping it into the sink.

Coffee that tasted like dirt and acid. Another reason why she wanted her fiancé back.

* * *

Walking into the loft, Kate balanced a box in her hand, pulling her key out and nudging the door shut with her foot.

She wove around the suitcases that were packed near the door, placing the small box down on the coffee table with a light thump.

"Hey Kate!" Alexis greeted, descending down the stairs and greeting the detective with a hug.

"Hey Alexis, you guys heading to the airport now?" She asked, motioning to the suitcases.

Alexis and Martha were flying out to Hawaii too, planning to stay at a private island, while Castle was promoting his new book. They were originally going to go that day, but Alexis had an important assignment that she needed to finish, so Martha decided to stay and accompany her.

"Yeah, Grams is just getting ready, and then we'll be off." Alexis nodded, before a guilty look set in. "You're okay with us going, right? Because dad can easily get you a plane ticket, and none of us want you to be alone-"

"Go have an amazing time Alexis. You deserve it." Kate said cutting off Alexis rambling. "And don't worry about me, someone needs to hold down the fort."

"Oh! You're staying here? Thank god, because we were worried you would be at your apartment, all alone and bored."

Kate smiled at the care Alexis was showing, a reflection of her father. "Don't worry. I have some things I need to sort anyway." She added, motioning to the box on the table.

"Great, dad will be so happy. Have you heard from him, yet?"

Kate shook her head. "He's still in the air I think, but he promised to call when he landed."

"Katherine!" Martha's voice interrupted, the older woman embracing Kate.

"Hi Martha."

"Please tell me you're staying here right? You'll be a whole lot safer, and feel free to invite Lanie around, or those boys of your's. Javier and Kevin, of course." Martha suggested.

"Yes, I'll be staying here. If that's all right with you."

"Of course it is. Listen, our car service is waiting down the bottom, but please make yourself feel at home. And feel free to jump on a plane and join us if you get too bored."

"Thank you, Martha." She smiled, hugging both her and Alexis. "You guys have a great time, and say hi to Rick for me."

"Of course, bye Kate." Alexis said, kissing the detective on her cheek, before both her and Martha were out the door.

Kate looked around the loft, welcoming the silence. She made her way over to the couch, sitting and pulling the box closer towards her.

She took a deep breath, remembering the last time this box was in her possession.

A few years ago, during the summer after her shooting, this box was her everything. For 3 months it comforted her, offered a different world to the one she was living in. It helped her in ways only one person could.

Kate opened the box, her hands falling onto a CD-player, and a stack of CDs.

It wasn't music, not even close. Audio books, but not just any audio books: her fiancé's.

Just like those 3 months, she needed to hear his voice. Calling would have been easier, but she didn't want to disturb him, and his phone was most likely dead or on airplane mode.

Rick didn't even know she had a stash of all of his audio books, knowing that she loved the hard-copy versions. And there was no way she was going to tell him; his ego didn't need to get any bigger and she would never live it down.

Kate could've easily gotten the audio books on her phone or laptop, but her dad had surprised her, hinting that there were a copy of his audio books, her mother had brought when they were first released.

Kate let out a sigh of relief, as Castle's voice flooded into the loft, his words twisting into the opening paragraphs of _'Flowers For Your Grave'._  
And here she was now, listening to her fiancé's audio books, his _voice_. Exactly what she needed.

* * *

It was 3 days later and Kate was bored. Surprisingly no cases had popped up, and without Castle there, Kate felt like throwing the paperwork in the fire.

She had called Rick twice, both times he was busy out an event. He tried to get out of them, but Kate could hear Paula in the background, so with a promise to text her, he had hung up.

Lanie had gone over to the loft twice, both times with Kate almost pleading with her. The loft's silence didn't help either, leaving her to feel even more alone.

The audio books were helping a little, and if Kate closed her eyes it felt as if Rick was reading to her.

And right now being stuck at the precinct, late at night and looking through cold-case file, was the last thing on her mind. It wasn't until Ryan ran in from the elevator, sprinting up to Kate's desk.

"Have- have you..." Ryan panted, seemingly tired from his 15-feet sprint. "Read the news," he stated, shoving his phone in Beckett's face.

She pulled back, grabbing the phone from Ryan, the headline already catching her attention.

' _Spontaneous volcanic explosion hits Hawaii_ _'_

Kate swallowed, scrolling further down and suddenly feeling sick.

A volcanic explosion hitting just north of Kauai. The lava was slow travelling, but the smoke and flying debris had wiped out a small village, leaving over 50 people dead, and moving in-land.  
"I need to..." Kate swallowed, reaching for her phone.

Ryan nodded sympathetically, watching Beckett walk slowly to the break room.

"Yo, Beckett all good?" Espo asked, throwing a file on her desk. Ryan gave him the phone, scrolling back to the top. "Oh man," he added.

Beckett hit Castle's number with shaky hands, her mouth going dry when it went straight to voicemail. She tried again, even though she knew it was a useless cause.

 _"Hi. You've reached Richard Castle-"_

She waited until the voicemail finished, taking comfort in her fiancè's voice, before leaving her message. "Castle, please call me back when you get this. I- I love you, Rick."

She hit the end button, before setting onto Alexis' and Martha's numbers, only to get the same result.

"Beckett." Espo called, half his body shielded by the door. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded unconvincingly.

"We'll wrap it up. It's too late to go through cold case files anyway," he said.

She just nodded, thanking him silently as she grabbed her things and made her way to the elevator.

She tossed her phone in her pocket, after looking at it for the fourth time, since she stepped on the elevator.

The worry was raking into her, and she could feel the bile rising in her throat. She trudged to the loft door, freezing when she noticed it was slightly open.

Her hand shot to her holster, sliding the Glock out silently. She nudged the door open with her hip, pointing her gun at the person on her couch.

"Woah woah." Castle said, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Castle?" Kate asked in disbelief, lowering her gun. She stared at him for a while longer, making sure he was real, before dropping her gun and almost tackling him. She flung her arms around his neck, burying her head in his shoulder.

"Wow if I had known you were going to miss me this much, I wouldn't have gone," he joked, hugging her back. When she didn't pull away, he began to worry. "You okay, Beckett?"

"Yeah," she replied, letting out a shaky sigh.

Castle pulled away, bringing Kate's eyes up to meet his. Her cheeks were slightly wet from tears. "What's the matter?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, it's stupid," she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

"Babe, nothing's stupid if it's got you this upset."

"Just... hold me?" Kate whispered. Her fiancè nodded, hugging her tightly. "I thought you were dead."

"Me? Rick Castle, dead?" Castle asked, letting out a laugh.

"It's not funny Castle."

"You're right, and oh- you saw that article with the volcanic explosion."

It was Kate's turn to pull back, obviously confused. "How did you-"

"There was no volcanic explosion, it was just a hoax. In fact Mother and Alexis wouldn't still be over there if that was the case," he stated.

"But you're home early," Kate pointed out.

"Yeah, we managed to get through everything pretty quickly, so I decided to surprise my fiancee and I'm pretty sure it worked," Castle laughed.

"I wouldn't count- why is that box open?" Kate asked, twisting around slightly to stare at the lopsided box on the couch.

It looked exactly like-

"Oh god," she groaned, mentally face-palming. Castle was going to have a field day wit this.

"Something you want to tell me, Detective?" He asked and she could hear the smirk in voice.

"They're audio books," she gulped. "And they help," she admitted quietly.

Confusion settled on Castle's face. That really wasn't the answer he had been looking for.

"They help with?"

"That summer," she vaguely referenced, even though they both knew what she was talking about. "My dad brought them to the cabin and-all I needed was you. And knowing you were going to be in Hawaii-if I couldn't have you hear- I just needed to hear your voice."

"Oh, Kate," Castle said, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry for leaving."

"So you're not going to tease me endlessly?" Kate asked quietly, breathing in his scent.

Castle smirked, pressing a kiss to her hair. "I never said anything about that."

* * *

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